---

So, Christmas Day is drawing to a close. Presents have been had, food has been cooked and consumed, and I'm actually now eager for another Christmas next year - this is something that rarely happens. I am, actually, very positive about the whole experience.

Before everyone went off last night, I hung the stockings and set their little LED lights a-flickering to signal the drop off point to Santa.

( spoiler )

When we awoke, the stockings for Tim, T' Other Brother, the Mother and I were all weighted. Of course, as youngest I was first up, and curled on the couch to watch animated specials, and that means Yogi's First Christmas. Tim got up about halfway through, and Mum and T' Other Brother came to the front door near to the end of the special. We made a start on our loot, leaving the stockings from Santa until last, and dealing first with presents from friends, nuclear family and the post-nuclear family. T' Other Brother leading the way with the most loot, and the younger ones trailing behind.

I think Tim was quite happy with the DVDs I managed to get him, and in my loot pile I got:

• An MP4 Player
  
• A Sudoku Cube
  
• Black Wool Scarf
  
• Black Wool Gloves
  
• Black Lambswool Polo/Turtle Neck Sweater (I'm from the West Country where there is nothing better on a cold winters day that plunging yourself deep in to a bit of young fleece)
  
• Black and Grey Socks (Ribbed for my pleasure!)
  
• For Your Eyes Only DVD, remastered version (The closest I come this year to my Licence To Kill)
  
• Pens and a notebook (We'll see how long before it mysteriously vanishes!)
  
• Cadbury's Creme Egg (A trace of the Easter Bunnies attempts to seize Christmas. Tim knows my current fascinations)
  
• Ferrero Rocher (The closest I come to Diplomatic Immunity, is reciting "The Ambassador's receptions are noted in society for their host's exquisite taste that captivates his guests" and "Monsieur, with these Rocher, you're really spoiling us")
  
• A bag of Midget Gems (the hard kind)
  
• Lindt Fruit and Nut
  
• Lynx Shower Gels and Deodorants
  
• 5cl bottle of Smirnoff Norsk

And then we got to the stockings from Santa. Each one contained a colourful bear with our names on it (mine a wonderful purple) and a gift buried deep inside. I took mine last and watched as everyone pulled out something from deep within their fluffy, oversized sock that they had expressed a more than passing interest in during the year. Perhaps this was my year. Perhaps these were good omens, a portent of my global domination dreams coming true.



Perhaps not.

So, we finished watching the animated How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Town Santa Forgot, and then Mum and T' Other Brother went away until the Christmas Dinner this evening. In the meantime, Tim and I managed to catch the very excellent Humph in Wonderland, which was put on by the crew from the Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue and featured several of their games (including a round of Mornington Crescent!).

As the day drew on, the cooking was done and everything actually went almost to plan. The broccoli was evil and refused to cook, but seeing as we all had our fill anyway that wasn't so noticeable. We even had spare turkey!

We settled down to watch the Doctor Who Christmas special, gawping at the recognisable faces, and then there was just Tim and I left. And here I am.

Satisfied and wishing for a speedy year so that Christmas can come again.

---

Less than 12 hours to go until the fat man is due to make his rounds and I'm prepped and ready. By my spreadsheet calculations, after tallying naughty and nice actions, I've come out of the year with a +1 credit on his list, which is still a positive and should get me on the delivery schedule. It helps that I was able to rationalise some naughtiness into neutrals. Goodness through bureaucracy!

Amazon in the UK is weird. Last night, I looked up small aquariums, anatomically correct model brains and LED deck lighting rigs and for some reason under the "You might be interested in" listing on the "Page You Made" it links me to two books here and here. I mean, ok, given why I want all three it isn't surprising the conclusion it jumped to, but still.

---

Related:
Entries tagged as "Christmas"
16 Dec 2007 - Christmas Is Coming...
24 Dec 2006 - The Fat Man Cometh...?
28 Dec 2004 - More Santa Bashing...
24 Dec 2004 - "You Better Not Cry..."
19 Dec 2004 - "He's Making A List..."

---

So, I haven't been around much, but I can't not mention Christmas. It's been a tight one this year, both on timing and on the purse strings, so much so that I only really got to start the present shopping in the last week. Fortunately, most of the stuff has been dispatched and should arrive before the postman stops delivering.

I have actually regained a lot of Christmas spirit, mostly due to a certain group of Lego, Playmobil and Real people, a few rabbits and just a general feeling of satisfaction. I'm out of the old place, there is a future out there, I have a decent kitchen and living room, everything is starting to fit back in to shape. Don't know what the new year will bring, but I'm certain that the theme of change will continue. Life and lifestyle can get better.

It's hard not being active at this time of year, between meds making me drowsy as hell and lingering back pain, I just tend to loaf around. I've been floating in a heavier weight since mid-year, that'll be my New Year challenge yet again.

I'm much more for giving presents, something I am perhaps a little too into, especially on a budget. No doubt shadowranger would agree on that one. However, if Santa wants to give anything to me, my list hasn't really changed over the years, nor has my desperation.

---

Related:
Entries tagged as "Christmas"
24 Dec 2006 - The Fat Man Cometh...?
28 Dec 2004 - More Santa Bashing...
24 Dec 2004 - "You Better Not Cry..."
19 Dec 2004 - "He's Making A List..."

---

Got up early, around about 07.00 and clambered out of bed. Well, clambered is a bit strong a word, it was more like the movement of tectonic plates.

Twas the morning of Christmas, and I went to my window to see whether my bargain with the Fat Man had worked. I pulled back my curtains slightly to look out over the bay, hoping to catch the sight of my giant armoured war death-dealing peace-keeping robot mecha or at least my Squirpion army to lead me to it's location. The Fat Man, however, must have decided he wasn't going to be threatened and my mecha and mutant militia were nowhere to be seen.

I have my doubts on any of my other wishes being fulfilled.

Still, I rallied up Tim and we headed off down to t' other brother's flat to set up a DVD recorder we'd bought him for Christmas. It was quite a peaceful walk, wandering through the streets of Weston before 8am on Christmas Day.

It took us a while to get it going, and I caught glimpses of Yogi's First Christmas on Boomerang in between set-up programs.

It's weird, I spent the last part of November and early December really pumped for Christmas, really hoping for that 'oomph' at the end, but even classic cartoons couldn't deliver on the day. Not sure what I was expecting to be honest.

We got back and went to Mum's living room, and I - donning my black jogging bottoms, black hoodie and "Bah Humbug" Santa hat - assumed the role of Black Peter to hand out the Christmas presents.

Funny thing, Tim and I felt, for once, a little guilty about t' other brother having fewer presents than us at Christmas - primarily because he gets stuff throughout the year - so this yea, we bought a few extra gifts for him. Lo and behold if he doesn't have almost twice as much as us under the tree from his friends. I have asked Tim to remind me of this next year if I start showing signs of sympathy.

I was surprised by some of the Loot I got this year, I hadn't actually asked for anything and so everything was, as it should be, a surprise.

I ended up with: some Marks and Spencer cook books (Eat Well; American; and, British); a 2007 calendar; two new shirts; Lynx deodorant; a pen, magnifier and key fob set; DVDs of Life of Brian and IT; Hogfather illustrated screenplay; and, a family size George Foreman Grill.

I was quite satisfied with some of the Loot I arranged for Tim, including a range of DVDs (including the Transformers RiD box set I tried to get last year!), and his very own Power Rangers SPD morpher, because: OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE WHAT IS 4.30 A.M. FOR?

I think I managed to recapture his youth a little. Now I just have to beat it down a little with a sock full of stones to keep it in place.

I spent the est of the morning watching Mythbusters Christmas specials until it was time for me to cook the Christmas dinner.

It was nowhere near as easy as the run-through, and everything was just going wrong, but I got there eventually. After eating it was time to clear up and wash up, I managed to catch about half of the Christmas special of Doctor Who and then finished up.

Then Tim and I crossed the road to drop the rubbish in the street bins, because the buildings' bin was full already.

Still, everyone liked the food, and I think I got everyone what they liked for gifts. Think I did well on Tim's, but then I like to think I can pretty much know what he doesn't know he really wants better than he does.

Ok folks, for those who wander past this, I'd just like to wish...

A relaxing Christmas for all the Jeebus-ly religiously minded, and to you peace and all that jazz.

For the commercially allied, I wish a Merry Krismas, with plenty of Loot.

I'd also like to extend at least one wish for a belated good Hanukkah, which I know the eighth day passed yesterday but still, hope it was good for you.

Anyone else, a happy whatever-takes-your-fancy.

And for the others, have a good Monday.

Ok, here we go, last chance for the year to get what I really want. I'm going to have to change tactic and use the direct approach.

Dear Extortionist Harvester of Souls, Punisher of the Wicked and Perverter of Childrens Innocence ,

Hello, Santa, I'm sure you remember me. I know we haven't exactly seen eye-to-eye the last few years, what with me being a rather mercurial character and you being the seasonal embodiment of childhood imagination, and I know that I may have displeased you in recent years what with:
• attempting to con you out of presents by creating a fictitious younger brother
  
• discussing your
  • voyeuristic habits of spying on young children
    
  • breaking and entering in to peoples houses
    
  • getting children excited about owning a pair of stockings for you to make a 'deposit'
    
  • 'fiddling with your sack' in childrens presence
    
  • keeping animals stuffed in the confines of your sack
    
  • stealing childrens souls through a Faustian contract by use of Christmas lists
    
  • brainwashing adults
    
  • breaching copyrights on brand names and burning top end DVDs
    
  • suggesting you would publish Magical Elf Porn and sell reindeer meat - I'm still awaiting the former eagerly.
    
  • making reference to you trying to get children to enter your 'grotto' or take a trip to 'lap'-land
But, I'm sure you are used to that. I am not unaware of the 'operation' that you have running globally.

I know that as well as the multiple headquarters you have set up, where your sweatshops of Magical Elves create bootleg items, you also exploit sleeper agents to do your duty. Take your agent in Holland, Black Peter, who on your orders throws presents down the chimney of children you have marked as 'nice' and then kidnaps 'naughty' children, putting them in sacks and taking them to Spain. I wonder, how is your holiday villa doing, and just why do you only want 'naughty' children around it?

I also know, Kaledu Senelis, how you make Lithuanian children sing to you before you give them a present, and how you give the presents away to other children if they don't meet your demands. Where does it stop, what else will you hold ransom over?

And I'm sure it was just the effect of all the sherry that made you try mount and molest an effigy of a goat in Finland, but I'm left wondering if you were disappointed that Ukko was not real, and whether you could have come up with a better answer than "It's tradition. Reindeers, pfah. Goat, man, that's how I travel!"

So, let's lay it straight, Fat Man. I know you want me to stop this. You know what I want. So, just meet my requirements and we'll call it quits.
• A giant armoured war death-dealing peace-keeping robot mecha
  
• A large suitcase full of money
  
• A private island, like in Thunderbirds
  
• A transferrable licence to kill which I can share
  
• Diplomatic immunity for myself and my family and friends
  
• A trained Squirpion army
To be honest, I wouldn't mind a huggable plush bunny (or 12) and a bit of that Magical Elf Porn.

So, let's call it a deal, yeah?

Ganked from distractogirl

Took a trip down to town to do the vegetable shopping for Christmas dinner. Huge mistake.

It's pension day today, and that means Tesco was filled with old people slowly milling around, causing bottlenecks in aisles - which coupled with kids on school holidays, made a nightmare of a trip.

See, theres always warnings at this time of the year about how the cold weather kills, the drawback is it isn't reliable!

The first book of the Discworld series that I ever read, my favourite of the series, the book I re-read at least once a year and the book I often either recommend or give as a present to people, was and is Hogfather.

Hogfather as a book is as chock full of humour, cynicism and surreality as any of the Discworld series, but the very concept is enough to inspire thoughts of what possibly could happen. The characters are rich and you actually develop a sense of interest and care in to the characters beyond the story.

The book is split between Death filling in for the Hogfather (the Discworld version of Santa); a deranged assassin Mr. Teatime (pronounced Te-ah-tim-eh) and his assembled gang on a dastardly mission; the granddaughter of Death, the Oh God of Hangovers (sattocs, you need to read up on him), a raven and the Death of Rats trying to save Hogswatch; and the Wizards of Unseen University trying to get completely plastered amongst spontaneously appearing anthromorphic personifications.

Seriously, if you haven't before, go read it. If you have read it before, go read again.

So good is the book that I was slightly concerned regarding the two-parter that Sky TV were running.

Despite a few missing bits and a little confusion over which wizard was which, the show was very entertaining, and about as faithful to the source material as it could get given time and, possibly with the CGI, budget constraints. Death was as loveable a character as he could have been, especially given the fact he's a giant robed skeleton, a Teatime was just evil and creepy.

I would recommend the book, of course, as the top choice of the two, for it's depth of the story, but for those who just want a flavour of Discworld then the TV mini-series is quite a good insight.

Went down in to town to drop Christmas cards off in the office, and picked some up as well.

I, of course, then went to Costa again:

- Global - Ears@Face.com: "I'll wait outside if you want coffee"
! Ego@Brain.com: Ok, we're getting coffee. Everybody cool?
Super_Ego@Brain.com: Sure, we're here anyway
Id@Brain.com: Whatever.
! Ego@Brain.com: Well, you have been going on about it all weekend...
Id@Brain.com: No, it's FINE.
Super_Ego@Brain.com: Dude, we're cool with it.
- Global - Mouth@Face.com: "Ok, I wont be long"
! Ego@Brain.com: I'll let Mouth know what were having if you can decide...
Super_Ego@Brain.com: Well, Id wanted Mocha. Still want?
Id@Brain.com: Fine, whatever. If we have to Mocha is alright, I guess.
Super_Ego@Brain.com: Dude, you are a spoilt brat sometimes.
Id@Brain.com: WHATEVAH!
! Ego@Brain.com: It's ok, SE. Let him be a jerk and get pouty and disinterested for NO REASON.
! Ego@Brain.com: PMed Mouth, he'll get it right today <g>
- Global - Mouth@Face.com: "Large Mocha, please"
Mouth@Face.com: :P
- Global - Mouth@Face.com: "...and one of the Lemon and White Chocolate Muffins, thanks"
! Ego@Brain.com: See, saw you'd get in to it Id. :D
Id@Brain.com: Wasn't me.
TasteBuddy@Face.com: ^.^;
TasteBuddy@Face.com: What can I say, they're addictive
! Ego@Brain.com: Heh!
ChocoLatte@Mocha.it has joined #InnerGuise
ChocoLatte@Mocha.it: Hey boys!
TasteBuddy@Face.com: Sexah!
TasteBuddy@Face.com: I mean, hi! ^.^;
BabyBuzz@Mocha.it has joined #InnerGuise
BabyBuzz@Mocha.it: Hi Room. Hey Choc!!
ChocoLatte@Mocha.it: BUZZY!!
! Ego@Brain.com: Hey ChocoLatte. Hey BabyBuzz.
Super_Ego@Brain.com: Welcome both.
Id@Brain.com: BabyBuzz - A/S/L?

Today was the Bristol Christmas meal, the time spent before the meeting was less than enthralling, everyone - myself included - was all in the 'passing time' spirit and waiting for the clock to tick away.

Finally we got in to the Europa restaurant, and I was allowed to sit with the team! Woot! "This is Bristol South...and Chris".

The food was gorgeous. The starter was Panciotti in Carozza, which was artichokes in breadcrumb and tomato and mozzarella, it was so good I could have actually had more and left satisfied without a main course. The main course was Tagliatella Nera, which is black tagliatella (black from squid ink) served with small prawns and one huge full-bodied, bulging eyed prawn. I also had some of Andy's Pescatone Pizza, which was mussels in shells, calamari, anchovies and tuna - the only drawback was the tuna was salty and the anchovies strong in olive oil, making the pizza a bit sickly odd, but absolutely moreish; fairly foul but addictive.

Alcohol wise, I had a few glasses of red wine and Smirnoff Ice, which considering my lack of drinking during the year was a slight concern of mine.

I was finished and back on the train early, but well satisfied and rather merry.

I don't have pics, because Marcus threatened to drown my camera if I tried.

Today was the first of two work-related Christmas meals. I know originally I was due at four, but I had to cancel two of them - the two remaining were going to be the highlights anyway, so I'm not too worried.

Today was also a team meeting.

I was up early, as I was travelling to Taunton, and was down to the train station by about half-past seven. Despite having to stop at Bridgwater, the train ride was quite enjoyable and passed quickly. I got to Taunton and walked from the station to the office, it's quite a trek.

The meeting wasn't too bad. The coffee from the machine, however, was not as good. Scariest thing, Jaqs referencing things that were either from my Flickr or Livejournal.

Then we went for our meal at the Flying Aubergine on the river front. It was a great restaurant, really good quality and friendly staff. I really enjoyed my bacon and stilton salad, and my venison (Bambi!) casserole. We had a Christmas quiz too, which was fun, despite Gary, Maggie and me losing.

I have pics, which I need to check. There is actually a full body shot of me amongst them, this is indeed a rarity and I'm quite impressed in the change over a year!

Ganked from somewhere I forgot...
( 20 Christmas Questions )

Christmas Decorations 2006
Originally uploaded by Guise Dugal.

Saturday

Went down in to town to pick up a Christmas tree. No, I didn’t get a real tree, but I did get a new artificial one which was pre-wired with lights so that I don’t have to go through my annual hate-fest of stringing the lights. After carrying it home I went back down for decorations, for which I wasn’t expecting an actual decent range from Wilkinsons, but I got it.

I got home, donned a ninja t-shirt mask (no, no real reason) and with Tim taking photos I decorated the tree. Pictures will follow after I’ve been through them. Pictures are available on my Flickr account.

The bonus, no tinsel! Extra crystals, icicles and presents. The bells actually ring.

I then spent the afternoon playing Civ 4 because, well, it’s addictive.

Sunday

Went to town and bought Christmas cards. I’m a fussy bugger for cards, I prefer photos and style, and try to remove as much religious symbolism as possible. I saw some nifty photo effects on some (tree pictures in black and white with red postbox, for example), and some ‘aww’-worthy photos. Haven’t actually written them, but I’ll get to it eventually.

Other than that, just getting random stuff ready for Christmas and trying to keep myself occupied.

Cross-posted from at http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=342

Saturday

Went down in to town to pick up a Christmas tree. No, I didn't get a real tree, but I did get a new artificial one which was pre-wired with lights so that I don't have to go through my annual hate-fest of stringing the lights. After carrying it home I went back down for decorations, for which I wasn't expecting an actual decent range from Wilkinsons, but I got it.

I got home, donned a ninja t-shirt mask (no, no real reason) and with Tim taking photos I decorated the tree. Pictures will follow after I've been through them. Pictures are available on my Flickr account.

The bonus, no tinsel! Extra crystals, icicles and presents. The bells actually ring.

I then spent the afternoon playing Civ 4 because, well, it's addictive.

Sunday

Went to town and bought Christmas cards. I'm a fussy bugger for cards, I prefer photos and style, and try to remove as much religious symbolism as possible. I saw some nifty photo effects on some (tree pictures in black and white with red postbox, for example), and some 'aww'-worthy photos. Haven't actually written them, but I'll get to it eventually.

Other than that, just getting random stuff ready for Christmas and trying to keep myself occupied.

Saturday

I created a MySpace site. I kept it for a whole two hours, but wasn't really impressed by it's methods of customisation, nor it's standard features.

However, there were individual elements that I liked about the profile of MySpace - which, incidentally was the only part of MySpace I was actually interested in, as the profile area of LiveJournal lacks. These elements include: method and style of Interests storing and display; comments to a user as well as individual blog entries; 'Work' and 'Networking' fields on the profile.

Had there have been an overall template file to customise, instead of having to do it in fields, and the ability to pick features to remove - for example, blogging - I may have been tempted to keep it and redirect my LiveJournal userinfo link to it.

Sunday

Yesterday we had a run through of Christmas Dinner. On the 3rd of December. This may seem a slightly odd thing to do, but I view this as a bit like the true modern purpose of Thanksgiving in the US: it has nothing really to do with tradition, it's the opportunity to practice getting a big meal arranged, ensure you have all the stuff you need and get any arguments that usually generate at family gatherings out of the way.

As such, I started cooking in the afternoon and had a rather nice spread laid out: sugarsnap peas; 'normal' peas; asparagus; baby corn on the cob; roast parsnips and potatos; cabbage and spinach; sprouts; and bacon, sausage and onion. The turkey had been cooked the following day, so everything was served warm, not hot.

I also gave a few cheap gifts, to start the season. Tim got Van Helsing on DVD; Andrew Little Britain (Comic Relief Special) DVD; and Mum Creature Comforts DVD. I was given a new shirt.

Monday

It took me ages to get up and going this morning, but despite the apathy and weather I took to the streets. I got down to the train station in time for the 08.08 train, I needn't have rushed because it was delayed. It got to 08.30 and the 08.08 was cancelled, then the 08.32 and 08.37 were cancelled. A half hour delayed train on way to Penzance got in to Weston, and stayed on platform for another half hour in the meantime. Then, by 09.00, they announced the 9.10 and 9.40 were cancelled too.

Apparently the overnight storms, and 120mph winds, have caused problems across the ail network.

National Rail put on two replacement coaches to Bristol, which given there was already cues from four trains waiting, and most picked up from other stops, were packed and leaving people waiting on the promise of more coaches. Considering I'd have at least an hours coach trip, I called Gary and gave up, choosing to take the day as flexi.

I popped in to the office on my way home to find my Annual Leave sheet, I think if I get my early release I'll have overspent my leave by 2.5 days, so I might try to convert some of my booked leave in to flexi time to recoup losses. I'm glad I saved some time up.

Finally, November has ended.

November, as I have told many people recently, is to me the Emo member of the calendar group.

It feels slightly left out, before November arrives you've got the Poser-Goth Month, October. October is all mopey and makes everything get dark early, it slits opens its clouds at any opportunity, shouts "I'm Hardcore, see my pain" and drips on everyone, but it's still fairly popular because it has Halloween so people can party.

After November, you've got Popular Partier Month, December. December is all bight lights, loud noise and drunken revellery, despite the weather, it just throws open it's arms and laughs, then gives everyone an excuse for presents - it's the fun guy that everyone knows will turn up to the party and people wait for, and who after he leaves everyone gets mopey about.

But November is stuck between them, with nothing really going for him, he tries to have things like November 5th, but it's a bit of a damp squib, so he tries to cut himself, but it's only half-hearted - October actually shakes its head and walks away from November.

It isn't like it's Novembers fault. November just happens to be one of those months, it's like the fat chick that gets to hang out with some of the really popular girls, but always gets left at the party while they've all found a small corner to get wild in.

November, dude, get a MySpace and LJ aleady.

Spent a lot of time this week gathering stuff for Christmas, from presents to serving ware.

With the late night shopping last night, I actually took three trips to town between getting back in to town from Bristol at 17.15 and the shops closing at 21.00, and that includes having a much cherished phone call from Tink

Today, I went to Argos, Woolworths and M&S in the morning and loaded up on more stuff, and followed it up with a Tesco rampage in the afternoon.

The only problem I had was with the level of gloriousness available in the shops this year, in brief from memory: Lego Exo-Force; Lego Bionicle Kardas (Mecha-looking thing); Star Wars Chess, Risk and Monopoly; Bristol edition Monopoly; Airfix-style Mecha kits; Bitesize Trivial Pursuits; Transformers Alternators - to scale and in real vehicle style, including my all-time favourite Swindle; new look, painted Monster In My Pocket; and, oh so many trivia and board games.

It is possible that major crisis was averted by my not going near Toymaster, for then the world may rock with a scream of "Me Wantie!"

One additional thing though, it seems that there has been a re-introduction of very attractive young ladies in to Weston recently. Thank you, December, you and the summer clique sure know how to party!

The weekend hasn't been too bad.

I managed to get a fairly decent haircut down at The Industry on Saturday, which isn't anything too flash, but it''s tidy. I also found out L'oreal no longer do a grey Colour Pulse, though I'm thinking maybe I imagined they did anyway.

I've got much of the Christmas presents now, and a large portion wrapped. I am well-prepared, but need to flesh some stuff out into more 'personal' gifts rather than just standard generic items. Need to add a few 'fun' items.

I had a look around for ramekins and table serving ware, because we actually may need them for Christmas dinner, but unfortunately there is very little in plain white, and what there is doesn't match one another.

I also had a look around for some stuff for Bristol office, it is actually quite difficult getting the smaller serial cables, VGA cables and printer switch boxes. Apparently, if it ain't USB, places - even dedicated computer stores - do not want to know.

Other than that all I can say is..Bloody ljdq crowd and their reminding me that I own Civ4. Bye-bye weekend.

The week, work-wise, hasn't been too bad. There are ongoing transport issues with the trains which means I don't get up to Bristol until later, and I'm on later trains coming back, but that has been quite a useful turn of events.

I spent the early part of the week re-arranging the wiring in our part of the office, gutting out old discards and trying to meet the safety requirements ignored by the guys who get paid multiple hundreds.

It turns out, I know more about our new network set-up and IT kit, and can be more bothered, than people two grades up. I've learnt secrets of the wall ports, the electric supply and the physical, programmed phones. By learning the secrets, that isn't to say plunging forks in to them to feel how 'good' they are.

I've also, pretty much, given the teams some choice over freedom of movement by tidying it all up. It's just a shame we are stuck to port locations and furniture that doesn't quite fulfil the needs.

I forgot to add in last weeks wrap-up, but I had to hunt down Hi-Vis clothing, the web site is classic with the 'alluring' model displaying the clothing looking a bit...well, chavvy. The Site Supply Company, which if it ever goes out of business, may be the inspiration for a webcam group.

Other than that, I've mostly been doing more archiving.

Some of the better moments of the week:

• Asking the manager whether, if I am re-arranging the office, if the Department will pay for me to take a Feng Shui course. Being told to stop mentioning my Chi and Chakra by colleagues.
  
• Jayne and I on stationary ordering
  Me: Don't forget we need to order a Dynolabeller through the catalogue?
  Jayne: What?!
  Me: The Dynolabeller, for labelling the cabinets?
  Jayne: [covers mouth] Oh god, I thought you said Gynolabeller!
  Me: No...
  Me: That'd be a cool job though, after an ultrasound "Ok, if you'd just like to put your legs up in the stirrups", and then labelling This Way Down on the babies head.
  Jayne: Oh no
  Me: Call me Doctor
  
• Sharon's Irish-ism: "Deaf as a Mute"
  
• Describing my issues in regards to Santa, and adding in: A dirty old man who uses toys to lure children to his..."Grotto"...in "Lap"-land.
  
• Reminiscing of using Barney the Dinosaur as my idea of a leader in a team meeting a few years back, and the find by Sharon of the Jihad on Barney website:
  Marcus: A jihad on Barney? The purple dinosaur?
  Me: Apparently, it's probably been set up by the TeleTaliban
  Marcus: TeleTaliban. You mean like Osama bin Dipsy, Po Hussein, Mohammed Al Tinky-Winky?
  
• More on Barney:
  Marcus: He musn't have that many friends, being the only puple dinosaur around
  Me: Well, theres a gren one and a little orange one, but they aren't the same kind...
  Marcus: Oh god, you still watch it don't you?!
  Me: I'm just let down I'm not aryan enough to be his regular child friends
  Sharon: I know the words, my kids watched it...
  [Cue Sharon and I singing the first few lines of "I love you, you love me"]

However, it hasn't all been fun and games. I had a serious industrial injury that caused tremendous pain and affected my work dramatically.

While disconnecting cables on a plugged in PC, I had my hand on the VGA cable at the back of the unit, mere inches from the power lead, I turned the screws and...I got a frickin' cut across my index finger. My bloody mouse finger was indeed very bloody.

Mr Pointy McFingerson had been slashed, and not in the fanfiction style with the Thumb Twins!

Damn annoying when every time I went to press the mouse all day Friday, it kept re-opening the gash. Now theres an annoying flap of skin that refuses to stay against my finger.

Of Work And Potential Hassle
02 October 2006

I really hope there has been some kind of communication mishap, because otherwise I might be just slightly pissed. Apparently, my concerns of having no real work in my local office and the only option being having to travel outside my mobility range to do odds and sods of little value with no benefit and additional financial and lifestyle costs, seems to have culminated in my being offered to the office outside my mobility on a more day-to-day basis for as long as they can find tasks.

Suffice to say, I have not agreed - and have in fact quite disagreed - about any form of permanency in attending this other office, have not been given any formal offer or even any informal offer towards remaining there, and the office has not magically moved the required few miles closer to home to reduce my travelling time.

Also suffice to say, I will be looking at the guidance on mobility and detached duty, and getting advice from the union on my rights. If they are going to start permanency without my consultation, which seems to be what colleagues and supervisors seem to have been led to believe, simply because my chain can't drip feed me any work, then providing the policies retain my rights I am quite willing to abandon any voluntary travel outside my mobility and cancel anything performed in good faith.

Why say why did I fall for that when you can say won't get fooled again?

---

Of Work
03 October 2006

So, I got up to Bristol and before I'd really had a chance to even log in to the system I was given my first task.

A white metal flipchart holder, which in theory could be used as a drywipe board because it's, well white metal basically, but had previously been used by someone who had used permanent marker over a year ago, to the degree that the usual removal tricks didn't work, so I spent almost an hour with surface cleaner and paper cloths trying to rub it clean, and pretty much succeeded. Part way through:

Lor: When you were travelling up this morning, how low on your list of things they'd get you to do was this?
Me: To be honest, it wasn't even on the reverse side of the list.
A Mark: I bet you are so glad to be coming out here for all this work...

See, I never had a doubt they'd be able to find me work.

I then continued using the frequently dying computer system to get files prepared for sending to archiving. I also spoke to Jaqs, as she wanted me to provide training on archiving, so I offered my assistance to help clear a backlog at the same time, but it'll be in Bridgwater. Heh, have access licenses, will travel.

Since this morning I've had Bright Eyes in my head thanks to Andy talking about Watership Down and then seeing in my minds eye the Bunny Spirit everytime I hum it.

Also, I wonder what sort of opinion people hold of me when they precede a general internet website question with the phrase "Not that I think you are a perv..." and later "...not that I think you are a geek...", I'm still not clear what the question was actually intended to answer.

On the plus side, got to gossip with Tink.

---

Of Work...
04 October 2006

Fortunately, my prior concerns about the discussed 'permanency' seems to be down to a minor failure in the chains of communication, which left a grey area that was filled in wrong. It's damn lucky, because I'm already knackered from travelling, annoyed at doing it and still not enthralled at the situation as a whole. Ugh.

I finished the archiving work, and was given my next task - redoing a spreadsheet I did at the start of my duties because it wasn't kept up-to-date. I have no problem doing it for the people who asked, it just seems wasteful. Oh well.

There are always tasks that other people wouldn't be asked to do, but that be given to the tag-along.

I never had any doubts they could find me work.

---

Of Work...
05 October 2006

Spent most of the day tracking data for a spreadsheet and answering phone calls for staff out of the office. Helped locate some 'Hi-Vis' jackets and bibs for an outside exercise our folk are conducting, and came up with a solution for the problem with rain and paper: Laminate each sheet.

Yes, it was pointed out that then they couldn't write on them.

---

Of Work...
06 October 2006

I was working in Weston today, which I really needed because I was getting knackered travelling for the week.

Not entirely sure how next week will work, as I'm meant to be in Bridgwater all week, and Jaqs will be giving me a lift at 7.30 each morning she is there so that management can save expense.

I also managed to rearrange my half-year appraisal, which is pretty redundant when you are surplus and not planning on staying until years end, but those are the rules.

I've been invited to the fourth Christmas meal now:

Friday 08 December - Local Office (Evening Meal)
Tuesday 12 December - Third Floor (Lunch)
Thursday 14 December - Team (Lunch)
Friday 15 December - Bristol (Lunch)

So, basically in two weeks I'll need to cover about £80 (plus transport) and around 10 hours (minus any credits) of Flexi time. Not to mention having to fight off the effects of several multi-course meals.

Strangely, October and December seem to be filling up quickly, but November is pretty empty. Guess in November I'll have to hit Bristol a bit more to build up my Flexi.

Went to town this morning and managed to pick up a Vodafone SIM card for my new phone, shop value was £8 more than Vodafones online deal, got home and the mobile is completely tied to the O2 network that to unlatch I have to wait 12 months and pay £15 for the priviledge. Their service tariffs are expensive and even lack the benefits of cheap evening calls. In short, I won't use their service, can't use the phone. However, I think Tim or someone might, if he doesn't need to make a lot of calls.

The SD Card works for the camera, except the Duracell batteries have already died?!

Edit : Thanks to the combined skill of John and Tim, my mobile is 'teh unlocked' and switched to Vodafone. Still trying to get the hang, and have about £13 left on the other phone, but new phone running.

Got a new unregistered phone, which I need to get a new SIM card for and will have a new number for, and an SD Card for my camera.

Think Tim was pleased with his loot, I got him a bulk of DVD cartoons (Visionairries; King Arthur and the Knights of Justice; Transformers : RID; Transformers Takara : Headmasters) and mum got her Snoopy stuff.

Fine, one bit of Christmas...

You Are Dasher

You're an independent minded reindeer who never plays by the rules. Why You're Naughty: That little coup you tried to stage against Santa last year Why You're Nice: You secretly give naughty children presents.

See, I'd like to open a Christmas Kitchen selling venison treats - Blitzen Bangers, Rudolph Risotto, Donner Kebabs. I'd close it on Christmas Eve as being 'Out Of Stock - Sorry Kids!'

Oh, and the white wine was nice.

It is possible to develop advanced levels of geekosity through osmosis.

Tim watches episodes of Power Rangers SPD some weeks/months ago.

Today, the turkey (pre-basted) is cooked. On tasting, I turn to him, wiggle my hand and announce :

Me : It's buttery
Tim : Buttery?
Me : Buttery

Yum, about 3kg (6.6lbs) of pure turkey goodness! It's buttery!

---

So, I went out tonight with some folk from the office. To be honest, I wasn't too interested and only went because I promised Heth I'd split a 2-for-1 meal with her, which of course she had had with someone else before I arrived.

On the way, I bumped into Dave J, and asked if he was going to join us in getting leg-less, he told me he couldn't because he was just getting over surgery. Knee surgery. D'oh.

We met in The Dragon, a Wetherspoons in Weston, I stuck with a crowd (Heth, Rob, Richard, Jack, James, Ian, Pat, Gary, Clifford, and Mark) for most of the evening. It was great to see old, familiar faces: James who left Finance to study at Exeter Uni; Jack who moved from IB to the Citizens Advice Bureau; Mark who works in the Library now; and, Gary who used to be my manager when I did Housing Benefit.

Oh, and it was identified that I'm considered 'one of the girls'; could anything make a guy more depressed? I'm so trusted, nice, etc...oh, and lovely was interjected there too.

I think, had anyone there added anything about 'good personality' or 'sense of humour' as well, following the discussion some of the girls were having the other day in the stairwell about the value and the meaning of those 'assets' were (ie. a complete redundancy) then I'd have probably drunk a lot more. Though, it is refreshing to hear the truth, rather than spoon-fed pap about being able to 'compete' with personality in place of appearance.

We later moved to The Regency, of course, I was slightly ditched when Heth asked me to get her a coke, I was made to wait 15 minutes because of the crowd and busty blondes, and when I got back to the table nearly everyone, Heth included, had sodded off. At The Regency, watched Richard and Lisa vs. Pat and Rob in pool, while also acting as referee for Gary and Mark's game of table football (fussball), because Mark was obviously rigging the ball loading.

Got a few snaps in.

Only had a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and a few sips of beer, but everything tasted like either flavoured piss or heavy, dirty water. I left early at 22:00, which seemed like the earliest polite opportunity, because they were changing venue again. Got a hug and pecked cheek from Heth and Liz, and a firm, manly hug from Richard.

---

Mission 101 :

• 042. Accept being photographed and try to get photographed with as many friends as possible (23/12/2005 - Me and Heth)
  
• 046. Get hugged or cuddled five times each year (2005 - 01 Hugs - 02/12 Heth [x2], 16/12 Nat, 23/12 Heth [x2], Liz, Richard)
  

---

Got the afternoon off when management actually had the same idea I had to potentially bad situations : when in doubt, chicken out.

This means I might just get Christmas cards written.

I went to Marks and Spencers to pick up my 'sweets' contribution for the buffet, 3 for £5 on buckets of Mini Bites. So I got Golden Syrup and Oats Flapjacks, Extremely Chocolatey Swiss Rolls and Chocolate and Orange Swiss Rolls. If I have any left, I'll put them in a container for extra nibbles on Friday!

The Friday rolled through until 15:30 when Jaqs picked me up, a little late, and we got stuck at the Munro garage in Bleadon when they couldn't use the card machine for petrol, so unfortunately we didn't get to the Hollywood Bowl until 16:30 and so missed the first game of bowling. However, I managed to get a shot in the second game. My score was greatly increased since Wednesday, I didn't break 100, but I didn't come in last.

 

Name	1		2		3		4		5		6		7		8		9		10			Score
Pam	9	-	6	-	4	4	7	2	3	5	-	6	1	1	-	/	6	3	3	4		80
	9		15		23		32		40		46		48		64		73		80
Maggie	1	-	5	1	1	-	3	-		X	9	-	-	-	9	-		X	-	-		58
	1		7		8		11		30		39		39		48		58		58
Simon	9	-	8	-	7	-	1	5		X	3	5	9	/		X	-	3	3	-		95
	9		17		24		30		48		56		76		89		92		95
Gary	8	1	8	-	4	/	8	/	-	5	8	-	1	5	8	/		X	-	/	6	120
	9		17		35		45		50		58		64		84		104		120
Annie	6	-	3	-	4	-	6	-	-	9	4	/	5	-	7	1	-	3	9	-		68
	6		9		13		19		28		43		48		56		59		68
Chris	-	7	-	3		X	-	9	7	/	3	-	9	-	1	-	-	-	-	-		64
	7		10		29		38		51		54		63		64		64		64
																						485

Pam covered our bill, so I was spared some cash.

The meal at the Hankridge Arms was great afterwards, starting with Potato Wedges with cheese, mushrooms and bacon, and followed by 6oz Rump Steak, chips, peas and grilled tomato. It was divine. The Reverse Secret Santa was amusing with Gary and Simon trying to work out who bought what present for themselves, especially with the very frilly underwear.

I took photos, but still have to sort them out.

Pam gave Si and I a lift to the station, which saved taxi fare. It took a while to get to Taunton station, but I finally got a train (and saved more when they never came round to sell tickets) and arrived in Exeter at 21:45, with the wonderfully patient Tink waiting for me (::squeeeeze::).

On the way to Tom's we tried to stop off at Sainsbury's for nibbles, but they chose that time to lock the door, so we just continued our journey. Met John when I got to Tom's place, and he really was a nice guy with a lot of knowledge, and in passing saw random relatives of Tom's over the weekend. Enjoyed a chat until about 5:30-6:00, accompanied by wine and profiteroles; and yes, three glasses of wine made me feel rotten...I'm a very cheap lush! Somehow my squirrel managed to stowaway, he's a very sneaky character.

Slept for periods of two hours, waking occasionally to hear Tom typing or playing games, and then had a wonderful wake up call/vision in the morning!

Sarah gave me a lift back to the station in Exeter for 12:00, along with Tom and John, and I headed back to Weston.

It was great, I love hanging out with Sarah, and Tom, and now John. I'm looking forward to the next time.

---

Mission 101 :

• 041. Have a candlelight dinner with someone (not necessarily a romantic one)(10/12/05 LDS Team Meal at Hankridge Arms)

Had a really good, laid back evening at the office Christmas meal. I got out to the Commodore at about 19:35 and met up with Heth, Janet Q (Scottish and funny), Gilly (from Fraud) and her husband, and Frank. Dave J remembered a drink he owed me from taping T4 on the Beach for his daughter, so I got a free pint of Diet Coke. It was quite busy out there, but still pleasant.

I ended up sat for the meal with Gilly and her husband, Margaret (Visits) and her husband, Liz (Visits), Lisa and her husband (named Chris, also Liz's brother). It was highly enjoyable. Chris was a very funny guy with some great stories and remarks, and Liz and Lisa were great fun. We were quite amused by our crackers, especially after I found the link of New Years suicides - in the characters there was a fact about January 1st and one kept getting repeated of a physicist dying, then the gifts were plastic skeletons and a pencil sharpener, or as I pointed out a razor blade (which was slightly rusted and a bit red) and Chris looked for the mini screwdriver set that usually gets thrown in.

The food was amazing. I had the Prawn Salad to start, and we were all surprised when the salads included a load of small prawns and one full king size with head and legs, but I resolved that he died happy 'just look at the smile on his face'. Main course was an absolutely amazing portion of beef sirloin; I passed on my favourite, roast potatoes, and only took the last dribbles of gravy to let everyone else get some - I was happy with the sauté potatoes and everyone enjoyed theirs too. The dessert was Profiteroles in chocolate sauce and was so light and fluffy.

When the dancing started I left for the back bar, not through reluctance to boogie, but because it was crowded and I couldn't see for the smoke machine. So, I got Frank and myself a drink and joined Nonie and Kath for a chat, we were soon joined by others and had a good laugh. Frank has a very Brum sense of humour, with shameless bluntness, and others just provide the two of us with ammunition for responses.

I imbibed no alcohol the evening, and only had a pint and a half of Diet Coke; I also think I saved myself a good deal of money. I didn't get photographed, because the only opportunity was while eating and I'm not that comfortable with that. I also got another hug from Heth, not sure if it counts towards the mission though.

So that's one Christmas party down; one party, a knees up, and a potential hanging out remaining.

---

Mission 101 :

• 046. Get hugged or cuddled five times each year (2005 - 01 Hugs - 02/12 Heth [x2])

Had a great night talking with Sarah and Scott last night over Skype, even more of a whoop as the Beta 2.0 is out with built in webcam - despite no-one else having it.

I got to sleep late but happy, and was awake fairly early even if not up, and I had a half-day so things worked out. Had a dream of Scott and Sarah sat on a couch watching tv while I was sitting on the floor with a laptop saying I was 'writing my novels' though the screen showed some cartoony Guild Wars thing.

I got hugged by Heth in the office, after being reassuring and pleasant.

Need to have a shave and freshen up mid-afternoon and await a taxi at 19.30 for the office meal.

I'm still feeling perhaps the most relieved I've felt since I was in college, there are people I talk to and who talk to me, who seem willing to hang out and who at the least always express pleasantries. It's more indirectly through their presence and nature, than directly through words, that makes me feel better about myself and everything. The fact these people (like Scott(s), Sarah, and Tom & Nat) are hot/sexy/gorgeous, fun and interesting really makes me glad that they accept me; they rox like a fox.

I need to do some alterations on my journal at some point too, which should be 'creative'.

---

Mission 101 :

• 046. Get hugged or cuddled five times each year (2005 - 01 Hugs - 02/12 Heth)

Today has had it's ups and downs.

On the plus side I'm really into some areas of Interview under Caution guidance and Civil Partnerships, which had mostly been untouched and has called for a lot of research and creative thinking, and I'm still fairly bouncy and looking forward to things. I went for coffee with Rob after work too, which was really good.

On the negative side, my camera will not be arriving until next Wednesday because they ran out, which means I'll miss the office Christmas meal for pictures and will only just get it in time for the team meal if the company don't screw up again. They offered three years insurance as compensation, for a digital camera with two years warranty and which will be outdated within six months. I wish I'd phoned in the order, then they could have told me there and then that it was out of stock and I could have got an alternative.

Then, instead of fixing the roof downstairs, they've installed guttering inside around the lift, which comes down to actually overhang the door. So now I have to tilt my head down to avoid black guttering while stepping over a wooden frame.

I'm tamping slightly, mainly because it's a position that I can't fix, but I'm still in control. I'm just let down by it.