After a lunch time walk to town along the sea front. Ahem...

Dear barefooted blonde girl at Marine Lake with the cool style of cropped black trousers and black bikini,

You looked hot.

Thought you should know.

kthnxbye.

Edit : 02 May 2007, 18:35

After an evening walk to town along the sea front. Ahem...

Dear dark-haired girl with the black trousers and pink bikini,

You looked fairly good too.

Pink and black is nearly always a winning combination.

kthnxbye.

Yes. I'm probably a pig, but "woo".

Last night I got nailed, well, in fairness I've been getting nailed for the last few days and I'm regretting every event that led up to it. Damn nail.exe, Aurora and A Better Internet company. I truly dislike files that are adware that respawn when deleted, it's annoying - and I'm one of those bastards that checks licences for the 'third party' agreements. I wouldn't mind if it was a virus from a download, but nooo.

Today was trip to Taunton day. Woo-frickin'-hoo.

Tim came with me and we got an early train so that I could find my way when I arrived in Taunton, which actually turned out to be a good thing because I'm only used to the main High Street area and NCP car parks. Got on the Arriva at 10:18 and off it chugged, the ride was peaceful and relaxing with the background rhythmic grinding of the train wheels on hot metal tracks as our travel music.

We came up to Highbridge and Burnham station, where - as Tim put it - excited chatter changed slightly to squealing like piggies, the squeals joined with the grinding melody as we rolled out the station and were within moments joined with the faint twanging of banjoes as we approached Bridgwater station, and things went downhill. On board climbed the Bridgies, most notable among them the Bridgy family with the mother who looked like a farmwife gone urban wearing a new looking t-shirt for the video game Killer Instinct (yes, the game from 1994), the son who lumbered everywhere and the daughter who was the station's token cutie (if looking slightly androgynous).

After finally settling into their seat they decided to get up and wait by the door as soon as the first announcement for Taunton was made. Shortly after, Arriva lived up to being a train company and stopped dead in their tracks and the driver got off, cue sarcastic remarks from the brother and I about rail apologies and what was on the line.

Eventually we arrived at Taunton and I pulled out my handy-dandy map from the Medical Examination Centre, which usefully did not include where the station was located, however, signs pointed to town centre and I knew that Brendon and Quantock Houses were located there, so off we trotted. It wasn't long until I had the first proof that we were officially in the heart of Somerset (or "Zummerzet"), outside Taunton's swimming pool an announcement for The Wurzels marked back by popular demand!

Getting a bit confused by the maps orientation (the image was upside down to where we were coming from) we were given assistance from a local who incorrectly pointed us back the way we came, which was partially my fault for not being clear and him not looking at where my finger on the map was. We walked back, found it to be wrong and bumped into the guy again :

Taunton Guy : Did you find it?
Me : No, sorry, it was the wrong building, I was looking for Brendon Hou [inspiration hits]...the social!
TG : Oh right! Sorry, brain wasn't switched on...go [blah blah directional blah that confirmed where I was going originally]
Me : Ah, cheers.
TG : Good money to be made there, signing on and all...
Me : I can't, I work there... [meaning for the Government]
TG : And you don't know your way to the office?
Me : Well, I work out of Weston so it's my first time...
TG : No wonder it's so fucking slow.

Cider-drinking, haystack humper. But, irregardless we eventually got towards the centre when I realised that Taunton had it's own time zone just off GMT, in fact some 20 odd years off GMT. Taunton still has a frickin' Wimpy.

Wimpy is the member of the Burger family, alongside it's sisters McDonalds and BK, however it is that family member that has napkin rings, speaks in the queen's english and holds candlelight suppers with local parish members. They serve burgers on plates and have no idea of what to put as toys in kids meals. Wimpy should not exist anymore, it should have retired and bought a villa in southern France or Spain and be sitting around in a vest and long chain drinking gin and tonic.

Went to Yates's for lunch, which has a damn good cheese burger, so light in bite but very filling. Picked up some fresh cream doughnuts for Pete and Andrew, seeing as I was visiting their office and headed off to the medical.

The appointment was for 13:30 and lasted 2-3 minutes. What The Hell!? I had the day off and hours credited, travelled through Bridgwater and with Bridgies, got lost and tired and got dissed by a friggin' 'zetter, for 2-3 minutes of interview!? When I told Si, in a conversation that lasted twice as long as the interview, he almost blew it. The term 'fuck' sprang up a couple of times too.

The plus side is I dropped the doughnuts off while If You're Gone by Matchbox 20 was on, and I got to see the pickled bat that the guys have on their windowsill. Yeah, when they moved in there was a dead bat in the room, they put it in a coffee jar and pickled it...in apple juice...suffice to say, it's now in dark brown cider, stiff as a board and is only recognisable as a bat because it looks kind of bat-like from the right angle.

Walked back to the station, first noticeable person was an american woman in shorts with a midwest-esque accent asking the station staff if there were roadworks near the entrance, there were two entrances both with minor roadworks. I felt like pointing out it was England and she'd be hard-pushed to find anywhere without roadworks. There are county lanes that have been disused for 16 years with roadworks.

Then I saw the Bridgie family waiting for the same train as us, but when another train pulled in first after our trains announcement they hurried over. Amusingly it was a train that goes direct to Temple Meads, but that's Bridgies for you. Instead, we had a mother and her two children, racing around and getting under peoples feet while fighting and saying things like "Dino Daggers" or something, guess where they were going?

That's right, they stayed on the train until Bridgwater, where I watched with some amusement that the other Bridgie family didn't disembark, instead two chavvy looking girls boarded, leaving behind a topless guy with two cans of Special Brew and barely any teeth on the station. They proceeded to try to guess a smell on them (I say it was a top they were sniffing, Tim says fingers) and they left us at Highbridge. The rest of the ride was peaceful.

Oh, the conductor on the train was at least seven foot, bearded and with a stiff neck that kept his chin to chest. He looked like an unemployed Lurch who let himself go after Gomez gave him his papers.

My camera even worked, wish I'd used it more now instead of thinking "well, fuzzy pictures will remind me what I wanted to post".


When we got back to Weston I was impressed, the heat was still there and people were enjoying it. I would like to thank the following people :

• Louis Reard - the inventor of the 'modern' bikini;
• whoever created the look of bikini serving as under- and overwear;
• whoever chose bright pink as a bikini colour;
• the very hot girl who chose to wear it;
• everyone else bikini-clad today - you've made a young perv very happy horny...thanks a lot ::mutter::

Of course, it must be really hot, because on the way home there was a bikini top hanging from a shrub near the crazy golf.